Random Thoughts - Family

It's been a while since I posted last - I'm not as vigilant at this blog thing as I hoped I'd be. I've got a thousand excuses, my kids, my job, my church calling & I should really clean my house to name a few. The whole reason I started this is to leave some kind of history or legacy in case something tragic happens. Since I'm usually the one behind the camera I want my children to know I was here & how much I loved them. However this might end up being a compilation of random thoughts - but they are my thoughts at least.

The last 2 weeks church has been crazy to say the least. We are so very short staffed so in a pinch I've gotten to teach a class during class time. What fun it was. Both times before class started I felt like the proverbial chicken with my head cut off trying to make sure "things" were covered. All that changed though, once class started. A calmness (is this a real word?) took over and I felt really good about the classes/lessons. I've taught different classes both times, different age groups, and both times it has been very rewarding! It has helped me to re-focus on why I really love my calling - it's all about teaching & loving the children. That's the easy part too, that's what makes it so perfect. It made me remember why I wanted to be a school teacher, once upon a long time ago.

I've had a lot of ambitions in my life thus far, I seem to "change my mind" on a lot of them. I used to think it would be really cool to drive a race car, now I think I'm too big of a chicken. Being a mom has really turned me into a worrier. Dan says I worry too much - I tell him if he worried a little more then maybe I could relax & worry less. I doubt that would really happen, but I'm not the carefree (or mostly carefree) person I used to be. I'm not sure if this is just part of "growing up" or something else but it seems to be who I am becoming - like it or not.

I do know one thing for a certainty - there is NOTHING more important to me than my family. Both immediate & extended. I never worried about loving my kids, this has always been an easy thing for me. For instance - a crying baby doesn't phase me, whether it's one of my children or someone else. This isn't to say that I can ignore a crying baby, I'm not that good, but I can hold, rock, walk & do my best to console a crying baby for as long as it takes & it doesn't stress me out. I think this is a strength I have, one that my own babies have put to the test, but so far I've been able to handle it well.

Nate - my dear sweet boy. He turns 8 this year & is very excited to be baptized. We've come a long way from "I hate church, I don't want to go to church, I'm never getting baptized" etc. He's got the kindest heart of any boy his age I know (no bias here really). Let me share a story with you... Anyone who knows Nate, knows he's an extremely busy boy. He has ADHD, we not yet directly with him, when the time is right we will. He often comes off as being brash and it seems he's not listening, but be careful he's paying better attention that you'd imagine. (Once his Primary teacher told me that if she wanted a real answer she'd ask Nate - it was nice thing for a parent to hear.) Back to the story... We were at church and they had turned off all the lights for spotlight & it was time to turn it back on. It was always a big deal to see who got to the lights. There was a little sunbeam girl who wanted to turn the lights back on, but was too short. Nate jumped up and went towards her, several people tried to get him to stop so the little girl wouldn't feel bad about not getting to turn the lights on. While it seemed that Nate wasn't listening to anyone, really he just had other intentions. He walked up behind this "primary friend" and lifted her up so she could reach the light switch. Needless to say I wasn't the only one touched by his actions that day. The thing is, more often than not this is really how Nate is. He is so kind, and so loving. He's always been so good with his little sisters. The best part about that day is that other people got to see a glimse of my sweet Nate. The one I get to spend my time with. This isn't to say things are perfect, many days Nate challenges me & my patience, but when I take the time to think it doesn't take me long to think of something kind that my "Nate the Great" has done. I'm so glad that he is my son & can't imagine my world without him.

Abbie - missy too big for her britches. She's cute & she knows it, sassy is just around the corner I'm sure. She has recently decided that at school she is now "Abigail". It's her name, and I hoped that someday she'd grow into it, I just thought it would take longer than this, thank goodness she's still Abbie at home. She loves to tell us all what to do, and if you've made a mistake she's sure to tell someone else about it. She's quite the little instigator (sp?) with Nate - however she's also an imp & doesn't usually get caught - Nate however does. Last fall she played her first season of soccer, her coach nicknamed her "butterfly" the way she flit around the field. You never quite knew when she would react or in which direction, but she loved soccer & loves the nickname. She's taken to anything butterfly. She loves Nate, and gets so excited when he gets home from school & is so very excited that next year she'll get to go to school with him. She's also quite the little mommy- she loves to help take care of Kassie - if she doesn't love her to death literally - we'll be ok. She's so much fun to be around and she keeps us on our toes (she's also the sneaky one).

Kassie - she's becoming less and less of a "bump" all the time. I don't think I've ever known a baby as happy as she is. It doesn't take much to make her smile. We do it often - I think the collective blood pressure in our home is down dramatically due to baby smiles. She's got a great little laugh & when she's really happy she squeaks. Nate & Abbie love to have contests to see who can make her laugh first, and then who can make her squeak. It's good fun that usually results in 3 giggling kids - my favorite sound ever!

My pager is going off - time to call it a night for now. My goal is to do this once a week - I am trying to re-commit myself to doing that. I've also set this up so Dan can contribute, I'm hoping he will. Until next time.

I am grateful for my husband & my children. That they love me for who I am, and they make me a better me.

Change is in the air.

Most people I know are really excited about what happened today. With the swearing in of our country's 44th president, history has been made. What I don't understand is those who are "mourning" today. Are you kidding me?!

Regardless of your political views how can you not be overjoyed at the open-mindedness of our country? Several things have crossed my mind today.

First as I sat feeding Kassie this morning watching President Obama being sworn in, my mind flashed back about 7 years ago. I was pregnant with Nate when "9/11" happened, and I vividly remember thinking to myself, amidst feelings of fear & sadness, "Just what kind of world am I bringing this child into?" Today my thoughts were vastly different as I gazed at my precious baby girl, the thought came to my mind that she can truly do/be anything she wants. There is little chance that she will know barriers of color or gender (those and hopefully any other), not like they've been known in the past anyway. Society is not perfect I'm not clueless enough to be blind to that, but things are changing & for the good I feel. I really felt good today. Good about the future for my children.

Then as I watched the Inaugural Parade & I saw the Tuskegee Airmen, I wondered how they felt. Did they ever think they'd see this day? Did they ever think their country would honor them for what they did? Let alone elect someone that looks as they do. That kind of discrimination I cannot fathom, and I hope I can never say that I understand how they feel now or felt then.

There has been a lot of "fear mongering" (in my opinion) about our new president and what he is going to do or not do. I remember when Clinton was elected all my college roommates dressed in black and moped (yea - really), I didn't get it then & I don't get the scare tactics now. No matter what side of the street you are on, surely you have to agree that it's time for us to stop pointing fingers at each other. Start working together. Starting healing as a nation. Start working at becoming "One nation, Under God, Indivisible" For the first time in a long time I have hope that this is possible.

Today I am grateful to be an American, to live in a country where I have the freedoms I have.

PS You gotta love a guy that takes the train! ;)