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Happy Birthday Maddie!

WE LOVE YOU!!! 

April 27th 12:29pm

2010

 

2011

 We are grateful beyond words for this sweet girl who entered our lives on this day. Missy Mad Mad we love you with all our hearts, now & forever!

SchoolHouse Rockin' Easter Egg Hunt(s)

At this point it's obvious I won't get my update post in today,  but considering it's Easter & I've got 4 small children, and, and, and - well it just didn't happen.

I've got another HUGE headache - for the record I am way sick of these! I officially lost count of exactly how long it's been since I've had a day without a headache after about 4 months, but that's about when I went to the doctor & I can trace back that treatment enough to say with full confidence it's been way longer than 6 months without a headache. I'm so ready to resolve this, but that seems less & less likely every day & if there is any doubt - I HATE THIS! Sorry for the rant, some days it's just too much & today is really close to being one of those days. There I said it, now it's out & onward we go...

The first big event of this week was Tuesday evening when we attended Nate's 3rd grade music concert. The music teacher, with input from the students & teachers wrote their own program based on SchoolHouse Rock. For those of you who don't know what SchoolHouse Rock is you can search it on YouTube (this one was one of my favorites). I however am old enough to have enjoyed SchoolHouse Rock during my weekly dose of Saturday morning cartoons as a child. Here are a few clips from the concert (yes I could sing a long with every song, & still remembered almost every word), but they are just clips because I've been having very bad camera karma lately. Nate's favorite was electricity (here's the classic version), but they turned down the lights & the camera didn't like that at all, so I wasn't able to record the concert version of it - it may be time to upgrade my camera...

Conjunction Junction

 Just A Bill

Lolly Lolly

No More Kings

The show was great fun. My favorite was the line at the end that said something like "Even though SchoolHouse Rock is from the 70's there is still something we can learn from them today." It good a good laugh from the audience - as if the 70's were some other, alien time. Oh wait, maybe it was....

Next up was Easter Egg Hunting. On Saturday we went to an Easter Egg Hunt, the same one we did last year, but with 1 extra "hunter", it's still hard for me to believe that last year I was pregnant with Maddie, counting down the days until her arrival, but still pregnant.

The Easter Bunny even made an appearance but with so much excitement 3 out of 4 kids 

(plus a Shaser) was the best we could do.

The kids had just was much fun this year as last year. Kassie & Maddie were in the same group. The big kids had been playing with Maddie at home so she would know what to do, but we didn't factor in something ever so important - SHOES. Maddie is an awesome walker but 99% of the time she is bare foot or in socks/footie jammies, the only time she really wears shoes is church and she usually has them pulled off before the first hour (of 3) is over. Easter Egg Hunts are outside - we couldn't very well let her go bare foot there. We frantically searched for a pair of shoes that would fit her & not be too cumbersome for her, we found a pair the perfect size but she wasn't used to wearing them.

We let her walk around as much as possible before hand to get used to the shoes but once the hunt was on she was not going anywhere. Dan finally (against the rules - no parent helping) set her inside the roped off area with 1 egg right in front of her, she was was content to pick it up and sit in the grass and play with it - never getting up to get anymore.

Then I caught the perfect picture! The moment she finally put it in her bucket!What a funny little one. 

Kassie was a force to behold - she buzzed from egg to egg putting them in her basket with steely dedication.

 

When all was said & done she was the champ! She had collected 18 eggs - 5 more than 2nd place. 

 She picked a a new book for her prize (a girl after my own heart!). Funny story, well I think it's funny - there was a few families that were new this year (that I didn't recognize from last year) that were UBER competitive, one of them was in the under 2 group and was quite disappointed that their boy got beat "and by a girl" - needless to say I took just as much pleasure (yea I know I shouldn't have but they were being so rude) in knowing it was MY GIRL that beat them - so there!

 

 

 

 

We didn't get to see Abbie & Nate hunt much since we were with the little girls, but they both were in the mid to top of their groups and were happy with their prize choices. It was a FANTASTIC day!

When we were done with the hunt we made a pit stop at Baton practice (Abbie is taking Baton and they are getting ready for the summer parades - so we have extra practices right now - I'm so glad that I have extra things to do, I was getting bored - ok maybe not, but I am glad that we are able to give our children these kind of opportunities), then it was off to see the Easter Bunny.

 This ended up being the best picture of the bunch.

 Our soon to be class clown breaks out her "silly face".

 Giggles all around - Maddie's not so sure it's all that funny.

We also crammed in a family picture shoot that if the pictures come back half as good as I hope I will be ecstatic. We will have to wait to see on those.

And lastly a few pictures and 1 video from our own Easter Egg Hunt at home this morning.

 

 

 

I am grateful for BEAUTIFUL day yesterday - we needed it!!! The warm sunshine recharged all of our batteries & made our fun day as a family just that much better!

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The other day I asked Kassie to pull a funny face - as a distraction from the moment. This is the face I got, I have no idea where she learned this (no one here does it). She's been pulling it several times a day since then, it cracks me up EVERY time!

I love how the child (which one changes day to day) who drove me crazy yesterday is the one that makes me laugh & recharges me today.

Week in Review

Another busy week at our house, but it pretty much boils down to 2 main events. Science Fair & Pinewood Derby.

Nate & Dan had been working on Nate's derby car over several Saturdays & it was pretty much done all they had left was to graphite the wheels, so we spent the early days of the week on science fair stuff. Neither Nate or Abbie was required to do a project & since they both wanted to do one & I wanted to keep my sanity we did a team project. The Reader's Digest version: After talking about how food "powers" our bodies we decided to see how much energy was in the food we eat. We tested 10 foods to see what gave us the highest reading on a multimeter. We tested an orange, banana, lemon, lime, cantaloupe, sweet potato, russet potato, broccoli, grapefruit and an apple. We found the orange gave us the lowest reading & the broccoli gave us the highest. Dan had picked up and "electricity" kit from Radio Shack so we took our experiments one step further to see what we could power with broccoli. We had an LED light bulb, a small regular light bulb, a small motor that turned a pinwheel and a small buzzer. We could power the small buzzer with 2 bunches of broccoli. We went up to 6 bunches and still only could power the buzzer - but the buzzer did get louder. The kids learned to make a simple loop circuit - we had a great time. Dan called home Monday night to check to see if I needed him to pick anything up on the way home - our answer "MORE BROCCOLI". The kids were clamoring over themselves testing everything out in both experiments. There was much cheering, giggling and out right excitement. It was soooooo much fun! We had a terrific time & we impressed everyone with our Broccoli Buzzer. We learned that there's not much power in your food, some has more than others, but nothing we tested had as much as a battery. That said the veggies we tested had way more power than the fruits so the moral of our project - Eat your Veggies!

 My 2 favorite scientists! (Plus a camera sneak)

The project display & board.

 It was also book fair night & Clifford the Big Red Dog made an appearance. Kassie was super excited until she got close then she was shy. But she didn't cry which impressed me since she FREAKS OUT at Santa & the Easter Bunny.

Wednesday was our pack Pinewood Derby. We had some really cool cars & great races. All the boys were very good sports and it seems like most had a good time. There's always a little sadness when you aren't the "winner", but the ice cream refreshments helped! Nate won for his den (Bears) and then won the Pack Champ too. The winners advanced to the District Derby on Saturday. Districts are crazy fast, super busy and OH SO MUCH FUN! I was trembling (literally) the first time Nate raced. I was so nervous for him - he won 1st in his heat on his first race and after that we were golden - I felt like he had some success and we could go on that, not matter what the rest of the day brought. His car was extremely consistent with only .4 seconds between his slowest and fastest times. He didn't win any awards - but his times beat winners in other divisions so we are very suspicious that he was in the top 5 or 10 in his group. His group had the most boys and the highest racing times of any of the other levels. I tried my hand a a video montage of it all - my first ever. Not bad if I say so myself. Nate loves it so that's all that really matters to me. Hope you enjoy it to (notice it's bit raucous/loud).

 

I love my children! I love doing fun things with them! In the midst of a very sad week for me - we managed to smile, laugh & even have a little fun.

A Token of Understanding

 The dictionary defines (yes I chose from the several uses of the word for the one that fit my needs) TOKEN, when used as an adjective: as slight; perfunctory; minimal.

I got home on Friday from picking Abbie up from school (she missed the bus home, twice this week - UGH) and noticed I had missed a call from my dad. I didn't even listen for the message I just called right back - he shared with me some information that in the last 2 days has made a big difference for me.

You see in the State of Iowa they have a law that requires an autopsy in this kind of situation. The autopsy showed that one of EJ's carotid arteries was 85% (or was it more than that) closed off. It doesn't explain everything, but what it does is offer me a token of understanding between what happened and the EJ I knew. No one knows (that I am aware of anyway) why the artery was closed off - what kind of impact that it had overall, but for me it it offers the peace I hoped to find, but didn't think I would.

EJ's funeral was yesterday with a family rememberance the night before. I was unable to attend because of distance, but my heart was there with  my family. I talked to my mom & my sister last night & they shared with me some of the events of the last 2 days. It sounds like it was a good gathering of those who loved EJ to offer their support to the family at such a difficult time.

A lot of special things have taken place since EJ's passing. Of which I only know a small amount of I'm sure.

In my searching I found this article which as been passed around the family & has offered comfort.

Several Hymns (below are 2 that are on my mind today) have also offered me a token peace.

The Iron Rod

Each Live That Touches Ours for Good

EJ's parents received a copy of a  letter from Governor Branstad of Iowa, that had been sent to EJs wife & children.EJ had worked on his campaign.

This article was posted online.

Then this morning I received a text from my sister with this picture (the benefits/comfort from being from a small town).

 
For me each thing like this has helped lift the sadness just a little. My faith in an eternal plan for us as individuals and families has helped even more. For this I am grateful. We love & miss you EJ! See you on the other side.

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I'm reminded of the quote that says something like "A friend is the person who rushes in when the rest of the world rushes out" - these are the friends that touch our hearts in ways that last a lifetime. In my case it was more like the friends who showed up this week and shared a tear & a hug or two. There have been messages, emails, phone calls, visits, even flowers & chocolate. Each doing their part so I just didn't have to be alone in my sadness. And that is just me, the out pouring of love has touched each member of my family. It is inspiring and comforting to hear of the love & support being given. I am NOT a fan of country music (and tend to avoid it at all costs), but my Aunt (EJ's mother) posted this on facebook yesterday & it pretty much hits the nail on the heard,  better than I can put into words myself right now anyway.




I am forever grateful for the love and support of good friends. The arms of love that have been extended & wrapped around my family during this time of extreme heartache has made all the difference.

Really Bad Week

Warning: This post is for me. Things I need to say - things I need to "get out". It most likely won't be uplifting in anyway. Read it if you want I'm putting it out there after all (you may not want to read this right now if you just ate, are eating, or plan on eating soon),  - but you've been warned.

My week started out with both little girls getting sick - upset tummies to put it nicely, and it went downhill from there, taking a nose dive at the end. It just wasn't easy to find any good.

Dan had to go on a bear of a trip to California this week. He left home about 4:30am Wednesday morning, flew to Oakland, taught a class, flew back to Sea-Tac (Seattle's main airport), switched out his bags, flew to Burbank (Los Angles). He had meetings all day Thursday and flew back home Thursday evening. I felt bad for him and the traveling that he had to do. That was until the girls didn't get any better, they got worse.

Kassie woke up on Wednesday crying "Daddy help me I'm poopy", well that was an understatement. She had gotten out of bed, gone to her door when she had a serious bout of diarrhea. It was NASTY - shot up the wall, ran down her legs (puddling in the carpet) - it was DISGUSTING!!!! I carried her at arms length and plopped her in the tub, stripped her down & let her "play in the water" (shower) while I cleaned up the mess. After the mess in her room was cleaned up I went and scrubbed her down, got her dressed, cleaned up the tub & all that. In the mean time Maddie had been sitting in her chair eating her breakfast - when we got downstairs I found poo dripping from her chair. She had the same problem as Kassie & I had another huge repulsive mess on my hands. Repeat red text above, after which I completely scoured her chair & the surrounding area. With  all the messes finally all cleaned up & my own clothes changed multiple times I was more than ready to be done with my day & it wasn't even 10am.

So when Dan called to tell me he was "bouncing back into town" I told him "try to miss the puddles of shit" - yea I was THAT grumpy. It seems that the kids always get sickest when he's out of town, I'm sure it's just me, but it really does seem that way.

Just before Dan pulled in the garage Thursday night (about 9:30pm), as I was trying to get Maddie to bed & Abbie just came in and asked me if she could use my bathroom that she felt like she was going to throw up. Gee great! Just a few minutes later Dan pulled in & I sent Abbie down to get some tummy medicine from dad - she did, then she threw up 4 times. Needless to say she stayed home from school on Friday. She ran a low grade fever Friday morning but by Saturday morning felt like herself all over again.

So what's my reason for sharing all this? I have a reason, a really good reason. Lately I've found myself struggling with some things (personal to me) - been in a funk so to speak, but you see there is always a "worse". I've been trying to be grateful that my challenges are challenges that I can handle - maybe on my knees (mostly on my knees) but they are "do-able" and not "worse". Again, there is always a "worse". Look around - it's not hard to find some one with whom you wouldn't want to change places with - their challenges are more than you could bear. So humbly we try to tackle that which has been given to us.

Saturday I got a call from my mom - it was worse.
She had a hard time getting out the words "EJ died".
In utter shock I could only reply "what?!"

You see, EJ was my cousin - 11 years younger than me. He would have turned 29 this year. Saturday he took his life. I don't know what was going on in his life - it's not like we were that close growing up, or that we've kept in touch, we really haven't. But it doesn't change the fact that our family has been shaken to the core. EJ was a star athlete in HS, a missionary for our church, a college athelete & graduate, married to a beatiful girl and father to 2 small adorable boys - it seemed he had it all. His family's world has crumbled, and I just don't understand. We have a pretty close family (extended) and I know there hearts that are hurting from coast to coast as much as mine is right now (and some even more) all because we don't understand. What changed? What was going on? How did none of us know? Why didn't he reach out to someone? Anyone! I'm mad at him for leaving his family like this - my head tells me he knew better. My heart says something's wrong - this isn't the EJ I knew. The one with the super perma grin that lit up the room, the contagious laugh, the loving arm he always threw around your shoulder. Something happened. I don't know what, I most likely never will. Part of me wants to understand thinking that if I understand it won't hurt so much, part of me knows "understanding", if that were even possible, won't change anything. Not right now, not anytime soon, maybe never.

 This is EJ with his wife & little boy the last time I saw him.

At a family reunion 2 years ago this summer.

 EJ with his boys.

EJ with his family.

I feel like I need to say I'm sorry to EJ, that we are all sorry. We wish we knew, we wish we could have helped, we wish you didn't feel like this was what you needed to do. We all loved you, would have done anything for you, but it's too late to say that, too late for anything. So we cry & we pray for EJ's wife, his boys, his parents, his grandparents they are all utterly devastated right now & all of us who knew him/his family are grieving this loss - wishing things different - knowing they are not.

Weeks like this make it hard to focus on things we are grateful for. Weeks like this beat us down until we wonder if it's worth getting up again. It is. We may loose sight of the good things in our lives, the stress, the challenges, the heartache is so in our face that it's hard to see beyond it. We have to fight for the good in our lives, fight for those we love & who love us! 

And if ever you loose your will to fight or think the battle's just not worth it anymore - find one last bit of strength and call out for help (CALL ME), ask for a hand to hold, tie a knot in your rope and hold on. Please hold on! 

And if you find yourself in a good place - keep your eyes open for those who might need your hand. Reach out to those who you feel prompted/inspired to reach out to. Don't delay. 

Lastly, a quote I was given once as a speaking topic "Me lift thee, and the lift me, and we will ascend together". I hope that we can always strive to lift those around us, for we just never know.

I love you EJ & I'm sorry!

Flashback - Kassie's Birthday

Oh the irony in my doing this update now. Maddie's first birthday is just around the corner and we've been talking birthday around here and Kassie is already convinced it's going to be her special day (which should prove to be interesting), so I guess it's about time I post about Kassie's 2nd birthday. I better hurry up before she's 3. Really, this is just embarrassing.

We have decided that when she is older having a summer birthday might not be as fun as she won't be in school with friends to invite to her parties like all the other kids will be, but for now we love having a summer birthday. A BBQ in the park with good friends is a fantastic way to spend a day, and if there's a playground involved all the better. Guess it's a good thing that's exactly what we did to celebrate the big day.

 Kassie woke up from her nap to find a plethora  of birthday gifts!

Most likely the only time she'll get a car for her birthday.

 Birthday BBQ with friends.

 More

 Lining up for a pass at the slide.

 Abbie giving the see-saw a work out.

 She really was having a good day - not sure what this was about.

 A hot dog & the park - she got a little dirty - ok a lot dirty.

 Pinata Time!

 Grabbing the loot.

 Which treat to choose?

 It was the year of the butterfly!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO KASSIE!

She moved into a big girl bed around her birthday - she was hesitant at first.

  Grandma & Grandpa Radeke along with Aunt Lorraine & Uncle Michael got her new butterfly bedding (& a big girl pillow) for her birthday.

 Checking out the sparkly butterflies.

A birthday bed time story with one of her favorites "Spot".

It goes without saying that we are grateful for Kassie & all she has brought to our lives/family. She's truly a force to behold.  We simply wouldn't be us without our Spunky Monkey.

PS - The Father of one of the families (they are just like family to us) that we invited to Kassie's birthday shares a birthday with Kassie - or rather she was born on his birthday - so we created a "Cake Wreck" (if you don't know what they are - google it) just for him!

And we sang to him too.