Mother's Day - UGH!!!

Let me just start by saying - I love my kids & I LOVE being a mom. I just simply HATE Mother's Day. I didn't like it when I was growing up - I'm a believer in saying what you mean so finding the "right" Mother's Day card for my mom was a pain. The full on hate started - when we were "trying" to have children with no luck. Seeing the knocked-up teenagers at the mall all but drove me to drink. I realize now that emotions ruled at that point in my life, which I hope rationalizes the insane thoughts I had then. (i.e. Why would Heavenly Father send his spirit children into that situation but not to us? - yep totally out of my head there, but those feelings were oh so real & so very painful. Something I'll never forget & hopefully helps me be a little more sensitive to others in difficult, child centered, circumstances.) Then we were blessed with Nate & then Abbie, Kassie & now Maddie & Mother's Day is officially one of if not my very most hated day of the year. It is ripe with great expectations from what the day should be like - breakfast in bed, gifts and all the (excuse me) CRAP to go with it - to the talks in church on what kind of mother I should be or strive to become - again CRAP! (I say what I mean and I mean what I say, it's who I am, love me or leave me alone.)

So this year I thought I would give it my best to have a good day with no expectations. Mind you I had just had a baby less than 2 weeks prior. We were going to miss church, recovering from a c-section was more than a valid reason. Nate & Abbie really wanted to sing to me at church and so I gave in ('cause that's the kind of mom I was that day) and we compromised & went to sacrament meeting only. Let me say here (sorry for the TMI) that I still had a surgical drain in & was completely self conscious about it. So we went to church & were late (another biggie on my list of pet peeves - but that's a post for another day), and I can't remember what happened but Nate & Abbie didn't/wouldn't sing with the primary children or I had to take the baby out - something, but the entire reason for going to church didn't happen - anyway it was starting to look more & more like a typical Mother's Day. By the time sacrament meeting was over - I was, physically, DONE - everyone wanted to see the baby and talk - I just wanted to go home & be somewhere comfortable.

Dan & the kids did their best to make my day nice, but it was hard to have a special day considering the situation, new baby & all. The one tradition we kinda have for Mother's Day, is that Dan takes my picture with the children after church. I am usually the one behind the camera & I like it that way. I recently had a friend ask me "Do you ever see pictures or videos of your self and think, Is that REALLY what I look like?!" - Yep every time I see myself in a picture I think that! So we were trying to take our annual picture - (a regular 3 ring circus!) when a neighbor walks by and says Dan should be in the picture & takes one for us with everyone, which was nice. Anyway - here are the best 2 shots of the day.

As much as I dislike Mother's Day I love my children at least 100 times more than that. They are my greatest treasures, now and always. No matter what I will always love them unconditionally with my whole heart.